Monthly Archives: February 2011
Bitterness of UnForgiveness: Subliminal Hurts That Lingers
Have you ever had such disdain for someone that even their very presence got on your nerves? More than likely, they did something to offend you and a deep dislike pending on hatred started stirring up in you. The more you saw the person the more you disliked them. Well, this happened to me.
When I was dating my ex-husband we went to Cedar Pointe Amusement Park with our cousins who were also dating. On our way there my ex-husband’s cousin drove and my cousin sat with him in the front seat. When we got ready to return his cousin decided that the women should ride in the back seat because he didn’t want to ride in the back seat. I was livid!
You see, I was tired of his cousin’s selfishness. I remember riding back and not uttering a word. As we drove back I made a decision that I was never going or doing anything else with him again. I intensely disliked the way he treated my cousin as well. I sat in that back seat seething. Even when comments were directed at me, I didn’t respond. All I could think about was how I couldn’t wait to get back and be rid of him. Yet, I never told him how I felt.
For years I wouldn’t even speak to him. Whenever he was in my presence I totally ignored him. In essence, I decided that he ceased to exist in my world. Interestingly enough, this guy thought I was the greatest thing since cotton candy. As fond of me as he was, I was the exact opposite of him.
Then one day I had an epiphany. I was carrying around all that hatred and dislike for a person who never even knew he had offended me. He went on with his life as though nothing had happened and I had all this anger inside of me. He was clueless about how I felt. Even more crazy, he didn’t care because he didn’t know. Regardless of how bad I treated him, he never stopped thinking I was the best thing to ever happen to his cousin.
Oftentimes we are so consumed with the hurt and disappointment that we don’t realize that it holds us in bondage. Although we feel we have released the person, we have not. We become consumed with holding on to a hurt that has run its course. We keep it alive. In doing so, we don’t realize that it has more power over our destiny than we will ever know.
Releasing those pinned up feelings allowed me to forgive that brother. Years later, I told him how I felt. He was clueless that for years I didn’t like him. When I told him all he kept saying was how much he thought of me.
If there is someone you have an ought against, now is the time to release it and let it go. Unforgiveness and holding all that anger inside only prevents you from moving purposefully in the direction God has for you. Although you may feel that it is not affecting you, it is. Subliminal hurts and disappointments continue to exist just beneath the surface affecting you in ways that you can’t fully comprehend.
When you are truly honest with yourself, it is then that you can let go of that hurt. Sometimes it takes God to help us get over it. God is just waiting for us to invite Him into the situation to heal those aged hurts and disappointments. Why not do it now?
“If a believer does something wrong, go, confront him when the two of you are alone. If he listens to you, you have won back that believer. Matt 18:15 (GW)
Then Peter came and said to him, Lord, what number of times may my brother do wrong against me, and I give him forgiveness? till seven times? Jesus says to him, I say not to you, Till seven times; but, Till seventy times seven. Matt 18:21-22 (BBE)
And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses. But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses. Mark 11:25-26 (KJV)
Father, Please reveal to me those hurts and disappointments that continue to have an adverse affect on my life. I have carried this hurt and disappointment inside of me for so long that I’m not even aware of the magnitude of its affect. Although I feel I have it all under control, I really need your help to truly forgive that person and to let these feelings go once and for all. The irony of it all is that there is a chance the person has no idea that I even feel this way. So, from this day forward I release those aged-old hurts and disappointments to you. Whether or not it was intentional or not, I forgive them for what they did to me and I ask You to forgive them as well. Thank you for helping me to release the bitterness of disappointment that has plagued me for all these years. Amen